| | Now that I'm relatively free, I should really start doing my homework and what not, instead of lazing around surfing the Internet and downloading stuff. Heck, I'll start work after this. Last weekend was the second stop--at Ipoh; the first was in school--of the Shark Attack Theatre Tour by my school's drama club, TTS. Two more shows were done and there leaves only two more this weekend, in KL. I thought the shows in Ipoh were very successful, despite the poor amount of audience. Being happy for the team aside, I also feel acknowledged and appreciated as I received what I call the second major compliment of the week after the Saturday night show. The first compliment came on Tuesday, from the orchestra instructor. As you may or may not know, I play the cello in my school's orchestra, for about a year now. I've only started playing since I entered university, so I majorly lack experience, let alone skills. I try to make up by putting more effort into practising. Last Tuesday, the instructor, Mr. Goh, who I always secretly fear and revere, was stopping by the school after his returned from his 'trip' to the hospital due to exhaustion. He was just around for a meeting with the committee, but the vice president, the past section head for the cello and double bass, and my personal tutor and sifu (yes, it's all the same person), did not know that. She told me, and another amateur cellist like me, that there was going to be a practice session that night, and that we should go. And we did, only to find out that there was no practice whatsoever, except the special session for the erhu (it's like the Chinese violins) players as Mr. Goh brought in someone. However, since I was there at the orchestra room already anyway, I just sat down and did my own practice session, with the other cellist. We were just running through our individual pieces for the upcoming evaluation. Fast forward to when the meeting was over, the committee and my sifu ushered us to pack up as they were going to close the room. Mr. Goh passed by and heard me play. He told my tutor that I played well, or something along the lines of that. She came in and reported that to me, but I was still pretty engrossed with playing, and the information did not sink in. After I packed up and stepped out of the room, Mr. Goh was still there, and he personally gave me a thumbs-up and said, 'Good!' plus elaboration on how I've improved and become better. I only sheepishly smiled at him, not knowing how to respond. But after I got back to my room, oh, the euphoriant feeling was rising in me. I was so happy. For the whole week. Even now still, a little bit. The second compliment came from the drama club instructor-cum-founder, Dr. Shark (now you know why the tour is called the Shark Attack Theatre Tour). For the past two weeks, and this week, we have been doing this school-Ipoh-KL tour, and the production Asylum--which talks about a mental hospital trying to stage a play--is part of the main highlights of the show. Of course, I'm involved in the theatre show, acting as a psychotic politician, with (this is self-developed as the director allows it) a double personality of a gone case cuckoo patient. During the about a month of practice prior to the tour, I was very insecure about my performance. I did not know how to act as a winning (read: confident and convincing) politician candidate. I was constantly asking the other cast how I was doing, and whatever comments I received did not seem to be helping me find the character at all. All until a few days before the show. It just snapped within me that the key factor is the confidence. However dramatic I wanted to do it, that was up to me, so long as the confidence--the glint in the eyes--was there. Even if I don't have it, fake it; that's what acting is all about anyway. So I did. I gave my all and let it all out during the first show in school, and I can say, yes, I did it. But the second show was a little disappointing, for myself, because the audience was smaller and frankly, my performance was seriously affected by it. I learnt that nothing like that should deter my onstage moment and shake my 'confidence'. For last week's shows, I put it (the 'confidence') all up again and embraced the spotlight, however much I still did not believe in myself deep down. I thought I just did okay (I think the first show was really good), but I guess Dr. Shark saw the confidence that I used to cover up the insecurity, because on Saturday night, after the show, he sent me a text message: 'Love you! You are my upcoming star!' 'Wow,' I was so surprised and flattered that it was all I could tell myself. I did not in a million years think I would get anything like that from him. He actually elaborated on it the next day, saying how with that confidence, I could be the CEO of a company already. Those two compliments really are confidence boosts. Psychological effect or whatever, I feel like I'm smoother on the cello now, and my character comes easier to me. I feel like I actually have talents now. I really appreciate the acknowledgement of my efforts. I know I mustn't let them get into my head, but...keep them coming! |
