| | Wow. Just wow. It's been over a month since I last wrote anything here. That is an amazingly long stretch of time for a pause. And I never asked for a pause; I don't take hiatuses. But somehow, I just didn't blog. I feel bad.
I try to think back: why didn't I blog? And the best answer I could come up with is: could be that I actually have a life? And that's not even an answer; it's a question! But my life has really been packed up with activities, whether planned or impromptu, and whether I realise it or not. I'm piling on new hobbies and new acitivities over my academic bundle, and that has taken a toll on blogging. Somehow, this was just pushed aside--and the fact that the Internet connection is really bad because my school is upgrading the system doesn't help at all.
I must apologise to the Xanga community. The reason I stick here is because there are really awesome blogs and awesome users. I've always use the posts here for various purposes, whether for entertainment, for insight, for inspiration, or just plainly to pass time. Somehow, I managed to survive over a month without all this. Maybe...
I must say sorry to my Muse. I really haven't been treating it nicely. It gives me so many ideas, so much of inspirations, but I never appreciate them, jot down the points somewhere and develop them into something structured and standing. I just half-heartedly 'bear them in mind', only to forget all about them when something fancy catches my eyes like candy to a child. Perhaps...
I must express my guilt for my negligence towards my passion for writing. Can I actually still say that I'm passionate towards writing? I haven't been reading anything, blogs or books, out of my studies for over a month. Is that even healthy? Do 'all-time' passions just fade away like any feeble hobbies? Could it be that...
Maybe I haven't left the community dealing with the things I'm passionate about. Perhaps I haven't been neglecting my Muse at all. And my interest in writing certain has not faded away. I've just been doing something else, something similar, but not entirely.
I have just been establishing a stand in another community of another thing that I'm passionate about. I have only been expressing my inspirations in other ways. I have merely been writing in other forms. I have fairly intensively picked up music.
I have been active in my school's orchestra team, even outside of regular practices. I have been taking down ideas by making sounds. And I have been writing--just songs on the guitar. I am only more in touch with my other artistic side now.
And to be frank, music is fun. It is very fun. The sheer joy and satisfaction that you get when you learn up a new song, or a new chord that fits in perfectly with a song you're writing, is highly comparable to that when you finish reading a book or complete a piece of writing yourself. I have always known that, since I play the piano, but now that I've picked up on the cello and guitar, the variety piles on, and the further exposure to music only intensifies that wonderful feeling.
It's as if you learn up a new language, and you find that you can write well in that language too--and the one more language helps grow your overall writing skills. The sudden burst of improvement, the unexpected surge of knowledge, the unforeseen shock of upgrade--it discourages you from stopping; you only want to do more, more, and more.
Music is very addictive. So is writing. Well, it was, anyway--I'll make myself be addicted to it again, somehow.
Maybe balancing between the fullness and emptiness of my life helps. I should fork out some time from my very full life to be lifeless, because I always turn to blogging, or just writing in general, when I have no life. That is, as of now, when I'm not strumming and humming on the guitar. Or playing the cello.
It turns out: I don't owe anyone an apology except myself. Sorry to all the wonderful bloggers on Xanga and amongst my small circle of friends, anyhow.
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| | Posted 5/18/2009 6:20 AM - 47 Views - 10 eProps - 5 comments
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